Gotta Kill 'Em All
Gotta Kill 'Em All is an episode of The Super Wario Bros. Strike Back! Transcript Wario and Waluigi are at the airport, getting off of a plane. WARIO: Is this the place you were so excited for? WALUIGI: This is the Safari Zone! Where all the Pokemon are, man! WARIO: Did you just call me man? Are you a hippie all of the sudden? Wario and Waluigi walk away, but are stopped by airport security. SECURITY GUARD: Excuse me, sirs, but this is just a random security check. WARIO: Okay, where's the metal detector we have to go through? SECURITY GUARD: Oh, there won't be any metal detector. One hour later, Wario and Waluigi are sitting in a jail cell. WARIO: I'm surprised they found the machine guns all the way up THERE. WALUIGI: I feel violated... Waluigi looks out the window, sees all the Pokemon, and puts hits hands on the bars. WALUIGI: Man... why do we have to mess up everything... Waluigi bangs his head on the bars, but they break. WALUIGI: Ow! WARIO: Man, thank goodness for cheaply built jail cells! Wario climbs out of the window, and pulls Waluigi out with him. WARIO: This is our chance, Waluigi! Run! Wario and Waluigi run out into the fields. WALUIGI: Wario! Look out! That's tall grass! WARIO: What? WALUIGI: Wild Pokemon roam in tall grass! Wario and Waluigi are attacked by a wild Tauros. WARIO: Ow! What was that? Wario looks up. WARIO: Oh. WALUIGI: A wild Tauros appeared! WARIO: Thanks, Captain Idiot! WALUIGI: It's Captain Obvious. WARIO: Well you're obviously an idiot. The Tauros rams into Waluigi, sending him flying away. WARIO: Good job, boy! The Tauros rams into Wario, sending him flying away as well, and Wario lands in a big tree. WARIO: Ow! That's what I get for trusting animals! Wario falls out of the tree, and lands in a patch of tall grass. WARIO: And that's what I get for trusting trees! A Doduo stares at Wario. WARIO: What are you looking at? The Doduo pecks Wario with one of its heads. WARIO: Hey! Knock that off! The Doduo pecks Wario with its other head. WARIO: Hey! You knock that off, too! Waluigi must be having a terrible time... Meanwhile, Waluigi is tanning on a tropical beach, with two beautiful women right next to him. WALUIGI: So then I had the genius idea to hit my head on the bars, and that got us free! The beautiful women both giggle, then talk in unison. BEAUTIFUL WOMEN: Oh, Waluigi! In the airport security room, two guards are playing poker. GUARD: So then it turned out the guy shoved the machine gun all the way up his brother's--- Wario kicks down the door, riding a Doduo. WARIO: Don't make me peck you! The guards scream, as Doduo uses one head to peck their eyes out while the other head reaches over and grabs Wario's machine gun in its beak. Wario takes the machine gun. WARIO: Ew, it's all... smelly. Wario rides out into the fields on the Doduo, wielding his machine gun. WARIO: Die, Pokemon, die! Wario starts shooting all the Pokemon he can see. WARIO: Wah-ha-ha! Wario sees the Tauros from earlier. WARIO: Die! Die! Die! Wario shoots at the Tauros, but it dodges the shot. TAUROS: Oh, it's on! WARIO: You can TALK? TAUROS: Um, I mean... Tauros! Tauros Tauros Tauros! WARIO: But I just heard you talk! Wario reaches behind his back and pulls a grenade out of... somewhere. WARIO: Don't ask where that was! Wario throws the grenade at Tauros, blowing him up. WARIO: Ha! You're dead and I'm alive! DODUO HEAD #1: Wait... he's killing all of our friends! DODUO HEAD #2: And he's fat. Really fat. He's... starting to... break my back! Our back! DODUO HEAD #1: Hey! Screw this guy! The Doduo changes course. WARIO: Wait, wait... where... where are we going? The Doduo jumps off of a cliff. WARIO: Wait! NO! Wario jumps off of the Doduo, falling to the ground, as the Doduo uses Fly and takes off. BOTH DODUO HEADS: Screw you, fat man! Wario falls to the bottom of a big canyon, but sticks out his giant beer gut, which causes him to bounce off of the ground and fly back up into the air. WARIO: My obesity is my strength! Wario shoots the Doduo out of the sky with his machine gun. WARIO: And how could you fly anyways? You don't have wings! The Doduo hits the ground and dies. WARIO: Bet you wish you were fat! Ha! Wait... Wario falls back down to the ground. WARIO: No! No! Wario lands on his back, breaking every bone in his body. WARIO: Crap! I've been falling a lot today... The next morning, Wario wakes up in the hospital, with Waluigi and the two beautiful women sitting at the side of his bed. WALUIGI: Wario, long time no see! WARIO: I saw you yesterday, asshole. WALUIGI: Oh, yeah. THE END Morals Don't trust animals. Or trees. Category:Episodes Category:Wario Crap